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Pete made oblique allusions to the previous night throughout the evening which made me blush frequently. Each time it happened, I looked around the crowded room wondering what the other diners might think of us; the nice-but-dull upper-middle-class married couple out for a pleasant but routine evening together.None of them would ever have guessed what we had been doing less than twenty-four hours earlier!As we waked back to the hotel after dinner, Pete persuaded me to take off my scarf so that anyone who passed could see the hickey on my neck.I reluctantly agreed. It was surprisingly thrilling to feel so exposed but I was relieved only a handful of couples had passed us en-route and most of those had been too wrapped up in each other to notice the clear evidence of infidelity.That night we made love passionately. At least Pete was passionate; what with my soreness and the constant stream of physical and emotional memories of the previous night, I had to use all my acting skills to. I've always suffered from self-esteem issues. Saint Michael can't throw me out of heaven for pride."“Do you understand the sin of pride, the Queen of vices? It’s excessive self-admiration, vainglory for who you are. Your perceived low self-esteem was because you thought you were not the least but the best, the most deserving, the most accomplished. You thought you were better than others, much better, the best, yet you were ashamed of your family, your background and your perceived looks. You were upset because you were not the most admired, the fairest of all when you thought you should be.Yes, you grew up poor but many do and most struggle financially. You, however, because of pride considered it an insult. It’s why you never shopped with your mother after food stamps, your pride would not let you admit you were shamed by poverty when you were condescending of others. You never invited friends home because you were ashamed it would detract from your presumed superiority. You shied.
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